lc23tina's Diaryland Diary

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*Hmmmm, Thursday...?*

*Hmmmm, Thursday...?*

After midnight- It's Thursday. Wow! This week sure has went by quick.

I haven't been writing too much in here because I have been invaded, and because I have been pretty busy.

The whole apartment is done. It looks nice, feels nice, is nice.

I really don't know what to write tonight, I guess I want to say a lot of things but I am afraid that they won't mean anything. And sometimes that is the worst feeling in the world knowing that you mean something and no one understands.

I want to be understood.

I want people to know that I am fine. There is no need to worry about me. I am a big girl (I hate saying that, I feel 5)

But I do know what I am talking about. I write because I don't want to put the burden of worry on anyone, I feel like my whole life has been lived out of the hand of someone else, and it is my time to be me. Which means trusting and depending on myself for things, I swear to you when I want to talk I will.

This is why I wrote the above.

Someone who reads my diary felt the need to be concerned about my life.

They in turn told another person who is friends with a family member. She read my diary and told the family member.

They told my Mom, which lead my Mom to ask another family member to read all of my entries.

That person read it all to my Mom. My Mom got worried about me too and freaked out because I hold all this stuff in.

I do not write to be under observation, nor do I write things that are supposed to make every cheery and happy. I write how I am feeling and the things that have happend in my life because that's what has made me who I am, I won't ever forget things that have made me this way, somethings are just too important to forget.

Think of it this way. I am happy with who I am, that's all that matters is what I think, because at the end of the day I have to take care of me. No one else.

I also think that the person who took it upon themselves to get involved should have talked to me first, not take matters into their own hands with out asking me if I wanted or needed this breathing down my neck.

I know that my life hasn't been the best to live, but now sitting here thinking about it...I wouldn't change it for the world. I have a mother that loves me, I have my sisters, I have my brother, I have my neices and nephews, I have my cats, and I have myself. I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back. I am happy with that, I have never in my life asked for more than what I needed.

That's all I have to say about that...

Oh wait, for people who are concerned about me or my life...talk to me, there is e-mail, guestbooks, phones, messanger services, and there is me in person.

Icq#: 119359664

MSN Messanger: [email protected]

Hotmail: [email protected]

AOL Messanger: LeafsChicForever

Now you have no excuse. If you wanna know what's up...ask there instead of getting 5 people involved that didn't need to be.

Ok...On to my night.

Boring...LOL

Watched some T.V, made ribs for dinner tonight, by golly they were good. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Stood out in the pouring rain on my balcony...It felt so nice.

I talked to Jay tonight. And I called and talked to Craig for a little while.

Now I am just sitting here pretty bored, I am off to send some e-mails and sign some GB'S.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Night

-Tina-

1:26 a.m. - 2001-08-03

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