lc23tina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Jay...Wedding...Whatever* I am having another really touchy day here. I swear when people look at me wrong I will cry with out a moments notice. I talked to Jay finally. I don't know how to take what he said: Jay says: I"m so sorry tina that i havnt got ahold of you....just beena rough few days Tina says: that's ok,it's been a really hard week for me too. are you Ok now? Jay says: ah, still crappy as hell Tina says: sorry to hear. :(. seems like maybe I am the cause. I am really sorry to have bothered you Jay says: no no hun!! its me...ive been drinking alot,stupid Tina says: I just feel shitty. I don't know how to handle situations well. Running cause I am scared and then too scared to run. It's not fair that people hurt. I don't like seeing others hurt, I always feel like I am to blame fore something. This week has been hard as hell for me. You know I was supposed to be married tomorrow. Anything I feel for someone takes a nose dive. I swear it's me. Jay says: ouch...im sorry hunny...that has to be rough...hold on...door Tina says: Ok, then there was a whole lot of things about you on my mind if somehow you didn't like me? i dunno all these fucked up things. I didn't want to scare you, and yet I hate sitting on my feelings...total confusion. I just want to get away from it all. Ever notice how things NEVER work out. But I sit back and wait, is that silly? Oh well let me know when you are back...Ok well you got offline...Just my luck Jay says: im sorry...stupid friends popped over...im just in a mess...you gotta just bare with me...ill be on in a bit Tina says: Ok just talk to me later?I sent you an e-mail...I am going to finish my dinner...Take Care we will talk later. So yeah that's what I got. Do I wait and let things clear the air or just move on down the street. I just don't know... Oh well when things are supposed to happen they will I guess. Just have to keep playing that waiting game. Not feeling well today, my stomach is killing me and I have a headache. I went out last night with a friend we went for a walk downtown along the river. It was beautiful down there, a little chilly but nice. I think I am going to bed early tonight. You know it's funny tomorrow was the day I would have been saying "I do" ............................................ I am actually glad it's an I don't now. But it is still a bit depressing. Good-night for now. If by some miracle Jay gets back to me tonight I will let you know what's going on. Well once I figure it all out. CONGRATS TO JEFF AND HIS WIFE ON THE ARRIVAL OF THEIR BEBE. -Tina- 9:21 p.m. - 2001-08-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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