lc23tina's Diaryland Diary

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*Some Stuff To Read...*

Here it is, the entry you all have been waiting for...Well not likely but it is the one that I have been working on...

I think it's pretty darn funny, but that's my opinion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~SECTION ONE~

Things women never want to hear.

1. Yes dear you do look fat in that.

(We already know we do!...Actually when asked that question you should just look at your feet and say I love you, cause anything you say is wrong! Just try to avoid it (look at your feet...pout, do something, just never answer it)...next day make sure we have some flowers at our door)

2. It's not you, It's me.

(Biggest crock of shit any man can use. If it was YOU we would have already bitched at you for it, we have a way of knowing...and bitching accoridingly)

3. The vaccuum attacked me, while wearing lipstick and cheap slutty perfume.

(Just don't try and pull it)

4. I got lost on my way home and the only place for directions was that BAR.

(That also had the game playing, right?)

5. I need my space.

(Now when you get that line it usually means you've gained some weight over the past month...He will need space till you contact Jenny Craig.

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~SECTION TWO~

Things men never want to hear.(I gave a little story behind these to a friend...A MALE! And asked him to answer honestly.)

1. I want to play poker too.

(I would say its guys night only! make a girls night only (hot lesbian sex or something))

2. Your penis is too small.

(go buy something with batteries.......BTW "go fuck yourself" thats what I would say! or.... well if you wern't fucking horses maybe my penis would be up to standard)

3. Do I look fat in this.

(but babe you look fat in everything.......so do I so LIVE WITH IT!...thats why I luv you! or well then take it off and lets get freaky)

4. Let's snuggle instead of sex.

(ok kewl with me (she'll come around) LOL just kidding...I just say ALRIGHTY then snuggles are better then nothing at all)

5. We're outta beer.

(I say thats alright I still have vodka)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~SECTION THREE~

Rejections

1. It's not you it's me.

2. I'm not ready for anything more than sex.

3. I need time to think.

4. I need to find me before there is us.

5. I have to go home now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~SECTION FOUR~

Pick up lines.

1. "are you tired.......cuz you've been running around my head all day"

2. "did it hurt?.......when you fell from heaven"

3. "I lost my number, can I borrow yours?"

4. "do you wash your pants in windex?...cuz I can see myself in them!"

5. "my name is ----------...remember it you'll be screaming it later"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~SECTION FIVE~

What men really mean when they say...

1. I'll call you tomorrow.

(Yeah have a nice life, you ugly...!@#$%)

2. Were better off as friends.

(Girl if I dated you I would be disowned...This is the classic...We all make GREAT friends...)

3. I'm only going for one beer.

(Shit I need at least a case to come back home to you)

4. ME and the guys...

(Geeze lady, anyone is better than you)

5. Don't cry hon.

(Cause if you put you wet face on my shirt...And man I really don't want to touch you)

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~SECTION SIX~

SEX...SEX and more sex. (Little know facts about women)

1. Most woman will never have a sexual partner that makes her peak.

(I feel REALLY BAD for you)

2. Most woman cannot have mulitle O's or don't know how to acheive it.

(I feel REALLY, REALLY bad for you)

3. It takes the average woman 28 minutes to peak.

(Not good when men on average last 10-12 minutes)

4. Most women cannot put there legs behind thier ears.

(I can...LMAO)

5. WE don't complain...not to your face anyways.

(This would prevent us from having sex on a regular basis...It's like pulling teeth to begin with dammit!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~SECTION SEVEN~

SEX...SEX...and more sex. (Little known facts about men)

1. Most men can only go for 10-12 minutes.

(See above, We (ladies) can never win)

2. The average length of a male's penis is 5.5 inches

(Really size dosen't matter...it's the angle of the dangle)

3. Most men don't make sounds during sex.

(Which sucks cause some women like to know what they are doing right...Speak up boys!)

4. Most men need a good hour to rejuvinate before starting round two.

(Ummmmm, got nothing here, But you'll see me in a hour)

5. Can't think of another one, damn me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll have some more another time...

Hope this entertained you somewhat.

Ok on to my night.

Leafs lost.

But it was hockey.

Next game is Saturday against the Canadiens.

I'll be watching it.

I talked to Craig tonight...

Told him that I wasn't going down.

Took a nap...

I'm lonely tonight.

And bored.

If you have nothing better to do...

take my quiz (located at the side there>>>>>>>>>> Near the top...Do you know me?)

Night

-Tina-

11:52 p.m. - 2001-10-03

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