lc23tina's Diaryland Diary

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*What Do You Say At Times Like These?*

I am sitting here still a bit shaken by the news I recieved today.

I got up this morning and did what I had to do then I jumped on the net to check my e-mail.

I got one from Becky.

That's the one I never thought I would be reading.

She tells me that she is glad that I said I would be there for her even though we haven't talked much in the past 4 years.

Then I scrolled down to see why she needs me now more than ever.

She tells me that she has a brain tumor, that is very big and dangerous. She has an MRI to go for, and the option right now is surgery.

But surgery could make her blind, or a vegetable or even worse, she could die.

Leaving it there will kill her.

I thought long and hard about it before I wrote back to her.

God we were so close, best friends, everything to one another.

There will be no reason in the world that would prevent me from being by her side 110%.

This is scary. She is young and beautiful. I know we had our differences in the past but it's time to leap over the buildings that stood in the way.

I have to be there for her.

I cried. A lot.

I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. I didn't know if "sorry to hear" was going to cut it.

I haven't felt this useless in a long time, usless or helpless or something, words just aren't coming out right today.

I just told her that I wanted to be there when she goes in for surgery, and that if she needed anything, day or night...I would be there for her.

Other than that I was lost.

Lost in the confusion of that, and the confusion of everything else that's going on.

I love that girl to death, even after everything.

I need to go now.

-Tina-

3:58 p.m. - 2001-10-06

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