lc23tina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *A Quiz...And Some Other Stuff* I'm going to write and see where my fingers take me...I have a quizy thingy that I seen over at ::Ginger's:: site. She got it from someone, who got it from someone and I ended up getting my paws on it :) 4 things I�d eat on the last day of my life: 1. CHOCOLATE EVERYTHING. 2. McDonald's Cheesburgers with extra onions. 3. Rice and chicken with snow peas and mushrooms. 4. Kick ass steak cooked to perfection with Bullseye bbq sauce, baked potato, and corn on the cob. 4 CD�s I can never get sick of: 1. Counting Crows- August and Everything After. 2. Lonestar- Lonely Grill. 3. Savage Garden- Affirmation. 4. Nirvana- Live in New York. 4 Movies to watch over and over: 1. Robinhood (the cartoon). 2. Frosty the Snowman. 3. Pretty Woman. 4. Untamed Heart. 4 Vacations I�ve been on: (This does not apply to me...I've only ever been on 2 vacations...So the last two are place I would go...) 1. Niagra Falls. 2. Toronto. 3. Jamacia. 4. Italy. 4 songs that get stuck in my head: (These are stuck in my head now...) 1. Coldplay- Trouble. 2. Backstreet Boys- Drowning. 3. Lifehouse- Breathing. 4. U2- Stuck in a Moment. 4 things I�d like to learn: 1. How to put my legs behind my head ;). 2. A new language. 3. HTML. 4. More art history. 4 beverages I drink frequently: 1. Coca-Cola. 2. Water. 3. Beer. 4. Coffee/Cappicino. 4 TV shows I loved when I was a kid: 1. Ghost Writer. 2. Polka-dot door. 3. M*A*S*H. 4. Dukes of Hazzard.
4 places to go in my city: (I live in a little shit town so I will use Windsor) 1. Downtown- The bar strip. 2. The river- Peace fountain or the sculpture garden. 3. TOYS R US. 4. Casino? 4 things to do when bored: 1. Stare midlessly at the walls. 2. Write. 3. Read. 4. Eat. 4 things that never fail to cheer me up: 1. John. 2. My friends, and readers of my diary. 3. Frosty the Snowman. 4. Love. 4 celebrities I would have sex with: 1. Curtis Joseph. 2. Mats Sundin. 3. All the backstreet boys. 4. Arron Lewis from Staind. It's his voice... 4 causes I would donate to if I won the lottery: 1. Aids research. 2. Cancer Society. 3. World Wildlife Fund. 4. Young Authors Fund. Ok...there you have it. Now...On to...Whatever I want to write. I have about 15 minutes before I call John so I hope I don't go off in my own little world. As you can see up at the top of the page I started a "D-Land Christmas Card Exchange". I got 4 people in the first hour that I had it up, since then...Nothing. I am hoping for a little more than 4 people...So you...reading this right now...Sign up! PLEASE :) Anywho...For most of the day I was tinkering around with that. I played a bit of pool and euchre...The day went by pretty quick. Amazing because most of the time I sit here talking to myself for hours on end, or I think...and think...and think some more. No one is talking here, Wanda isn't saying too much to anyone, Mom's not talking...Larry's not talking... NO ONE IS TALKING. It's bothering me now. But I am getting sick of being the first one to say "I'm sorry". This time I'm not sorry for anything I've said. I am tired of people telling me that they think I am stupid and that they think I am a failure. If I say sorry they are just going to keep doing it, because I am going to continue to say sorry for telling them how they make me feel. Honeslty I wish I were stronger when I have to face them, with anyone else I just say "fuck it!". But with them it's different. When I was a kid, even as a teen-ager, when there was a fight in the house I would walk away in tears, praying that someone would follow me. No one ever did. I would run from them, no one would come after me. I would be the one left in my room with a face full of tears while someone cursed my name. Even now, I wish someone would follow me to see if I'm alright. Oh well. Tonight John came over and we went into A'burg, to Lynn and Kevin's place. We talked some more. I love getting things out to him, he's so... so... so... I don't even know the right words. When we got back here, something went wrong. I got nervous with him, I wanted to tell him everything that was bothering me, but I couldn't. The only thing I could do was let the tears fall from my eyes. When he asked what was wrong I bluffed and said it was a paper allergy. A FUCKING PAPER ALLERGY, I couldn't come up with anything better than that... He didn't buy it, not for one second. When he left...I didn't want him to go, I wanted to stay in his arms forever. He left ciggarettes on my desk, he knew I was out... Never said a word, just left them there. I was sitting in the living room when he called, he wanted to make sure I was alright... He followed...OH MY GOD. No wonder I love him so much. I talked to him a bit about what was bothering me, I'm not sure if I got it all out, but I got the just of it off my chest. It scares me to death, telling him...Only because I don't want him to get sick of me... I don't want him to get sick of me always having a hard time at home. Which really affects my mood. Well I better cut this right here, it's one and I need to call him. Just to tell him...tell him that I love him. Those are going to be the first words from my mouth. Night. -Tina- 12:18 a.m. - 2001-11-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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