Once again I am scatter brained. This has been happening way too much lately, and I am not liking it one bit!

John and I fought tonight. Fought...I don't know, but I did raise my voice. And I did say that I didn't care, which is so far from the truth. Because I DO CARE! I hate saying things out of anger that I don't mean.

I've been beating myself up for it ever since he left tonight. On the way in the house I cried. I didn't want to walk into the house with tears on my face, so when John's car got down the street I walked outside for a little while. Just me, my thoughts and my tears.

I don't like fighting, I HATE fighting. Not only do I feel bad for what started it, but then I feel bad for what I said and how I said it, and how nothing was meant. I was just mad at the situation and not mad at him...

He is the very thing I look forward to EVERY day. He is what makes my heart skip a beat. He is the reason I smile...John is my EVERYTHING and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am just UNDER way too much stress. And I hope it lifts soon, because my head hurts and my body aches and I have not been able to sleep in days. And I DON'T want to have any more of these FIGHTS.

!!!I LOVE YOU!!!

And I am sorry for...

EVERYTHING

I'm out for the night. I am tired and I am cold.

I don't need these tears freezing to my face.

-Tina-

1:11 a.m. - 2001-12-21

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