lc23tina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *The Big One* It's still cold in my room, doesn't help my head or my finger's want to write. I'm not even sure where to begin. The past week, weeks, month is a little fuzzy. December marked one of the most pain filled months in my entire life. I told you all I hate December and anything to do with the stinky month. First I started out with tooth pain in the begining of the month and then that worked up to the most unbelivable cramps, they brought along that little friend...(note to men: Just smack yourself right now and think about what you've done!). Then came more tooth pain, only this time nothing eased up, I had pain every day for almost two weeks. It varied from "OH MY FUCKING GOD--JUST SHOOT ME" to "LEAVE ME ALONE OR I WILL KILL YOU". There were a few moods in between but none were pleasent. I actually feel bad for the people that put up with me, without killing me. I think at one point they all thought about sticking my head under a Mac truck. Christmas I finally thought about going to see the dentist. We had a nice day and the pain wasn't too bad, but then it came on and made me very grumpy. I could not find my tylenol and looking for it drove me nuts, I lost all patience for everything. Lena was in my room and she was clicking something and I blew up at her. When I was upstairs she told Shelly that she hoped that I found my tylenol soon so I would stop being so grouchy. When Shelly told me that I balled, because I am never mean to the kids...NEVER. So I talked to Lena and told her that I didn't mean to be so grouchy, it was just so bothersome with the noises. Nothing was enjoyable. I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without my mouth driving me insane. I went to the dentist on Friday, we planned to get the tooth out on Wednesday, only because I didn't have the $120.00. It was only four days and thought I would make it though. But... Saturday I woke up and there was a bit of pain, not much to make me crazy. John went to his father's for dinner and I stayed in my bed. I took a nap and woke up with PAIN. More than any other day, go figure-- New Year's Eve... Everyone was over. It was loud and noises seemed to drive me haywire. They had the music so loud, when asked to turn it down, my sister threw a fit like a two year old. She said "since we can't have the radio on, we might as well shut the t.v. off too". I heard what she said and that pissed me off. I was in PAIN and no one, but John cared. I am not exagerating one bit. No one gave two shit's about me. I remember last year around the holidays when Barb was in the hospital, I went to her house and watched over the kids for 6 days, I did everything for her and Mike and the kids. When Wanda got sick there I went to her house every day to take care of her, walking 13 blocks to her house...Why didn't either of them remember that? After getting really fusterated and with the pain growing more John said that we would go to his house since there was the "big problem" here. On the way to his house he said that he was going to take me to the hospital. He drove back here and grabbed my health card and then we went to the hospital. He said "You are staying this time!" I didn't argue, I wanted to be there. I wanted the pain to STOP! I flaked out in the waiting room for a little bit until they called us in. It seemed to take forever to get seen by the doctor. But when I finally did, she ordered a shot of Demarol and some gravol. John said that we got out to the car and my tooth was still hurting then all of a sudden...I was out. Needed John and Larry to get me in the house. I don't remember a thing. I know that in the morning I asked John to go to the drug store and get my perscription for more Demarol. When I finally got it in me I wasn't in too much pain. Now Demarol is a wonder drug. Throughout my pain I tried, tylenol, tylenol extra strength, tylenol 3's with codine, sleep easy, perkaset (spell check) and then finally demarol. I got to sleep while taking the demarol, that shit knocked my ass out and made me a space cowboy. (good stuff). Finally yesterday came the day for me to get the hell in my mouth yanked. The dentist thought it was going to be tough because the tooth was broken and thought it might require stitches, but I was lucky there. It came out easy and no stitches. It only hurt once when the tooth was almost out, I felt a lot of pressure and said "OUCH", that's when he reassured me that it was almost out and that the pain would soon be over. So I sat back in the chair and opened wide....then it was out. I SMILED. When I walked out of the room, Johnny was waiting for me and the smile on his face made my heart dance. Finally I could be his girlfriend once again. And not the scary lady who would scream in pain. So...That's my story. Christmas Presents: From Johnny: A beautiful dolphin lamp (it's awesome), and a bottle of my most favorite perfume. From Wanda: A wheel mouse to replace my old mouse that stopped working on me, clothes, earrings....more (a bit fuzzy trying to remember) From Mom: Clothes, perfume (#2 favorite), nice warm fuzzy socks...(more) From Albert: Makeup, A frame set...(more) From Barb: Frosty the snowman figurine, a snowman with snowberry lotion...(more) From Lynn and Kevin: (I wasn't expecting anything from them) A gift bag with vanillia bath stuff and a gel candle, that smells soooo good. From Lance and Ina: (Same story as above) A platter filled with goodies for John and I. (It was a good Christmas) Too bad I couldn't enjoy it the way I wanted to. NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION(s): 1) No more procrastination about my health. I will see doctor's and dentist when I need to! 2)Be a better person to my family, friends and boyfriend. 3)Love John. 4)Appricate things more. 5)Go on a diet, nothing big...like 50 pounds or so LOL. 6)Enjoy life, stop worrying. 7)Be true to myself. 8)Love Me. there are more.... But my finger's are frozen and....I don't want to write anymore. This should have kept you reading for a while. ((Note to Johnny: I love you, thank you for being the one who helped me. Even on the days that I tried so hard to push you away. I really appricate everything you have done for me :) )) -Tina- Oh yeah.....LOVE YOU PUMPKIN :) 4:59 p.m. - 2002-01-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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