lc23tina's Diaryland Diary

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BIG ASS RANT

Be warned. This is NOT a happy update. I repeat...this is NOT a happy update.

Okay now that I've got that out of the way...

If you are offended by the FUCK word. Leave now! This is going to be littered...VERY LITTERED!

Lena: If you are reading this...Please stop now! Don't make that face either...Just go. But remember I love you!

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I think that should be safe now. Lena: If you are still reading this I am going to rip out your eyes and stick em' down your pants so you can watch me kick your little ass.

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I HATE when I am lied to. It pisses me off so much. I hate when people make fake fucking promises to me. Then with all the nerve they have...they get mad at me. For what reason?

It's going to sound whiny.

It's going to sound totally fucking stupid.

It's going to piss me off until I just get it all off my chest.

It makes me even more pissed when people I trust break promises.

When I was told that we would be moving, I cringed at the thought of packing up and moving again. I cringed at the fact that Johnny and I may grow distant from one another no matter how much we insured that it wasn't going to happen.

On the other hand, I was happy that we might get into the City where there would be more of a chance for me finding work and then eventually leaving home.

That's a goal. I don't want to be dependant on my Mother for the rest of my life. I don't want to have to depend on anyone for that matter.

I was also excited about a promise. The promise that I will be able to have my cats since Wanda and Jim won't be with us, and the dog will be gone too.

Fuck, I was happy. HAPPY! But was is the key word here.

We sat in the kitchen, she said that I would be able to have my cats at the new place. I think I even glowed. It's been a long while since I've had one of my kitties sleeping on my bed, it's been a long while since I got to play with them for more than a few minutes a shot when visiting Brad.

I know they are just cats. Just cats to some...Not to me. They make me happy. You don't know how many times I laid on my bed with one of them on me while I cried. I've yelled at them when I was mad, I've danced with them when I was happy. They are my sucks.

Today, she asked me to play cards. We've been getting along so-so. So I took her up on the offer to play cards. I had nothing better to do.

She told me about the house that they took. She described it to me, we talked about the size and all that bull...Then I asked...

"I still get to have my cats right?"

WRONG

This was the convo:

(me) "I still get to have my cats right?"

(her) "No."

(me) "Why not?"

(her) "I am not going to pay $750.00 dollars for rent to have a cat piss and shit all over the house."

(me) "What?"

(her) "Can't Robbie keep them?"

(me) "No, he wanted them gone when Brad moved."

(her) "Well can't Brad take them?"

(me) "No, they are MY cats!"

(her) "Well then you'll have to get rid of them, or put them outside!"

(me) "They have never been outside..."

(her) "blah blah blah bitch bitch blah blah blah bitch bitch bitch"

(me) "Can we just drop this?"

(her) "blah blah blah bitch bitch blah blah blah bitch bitch bitch"

That was it. No more words were spoken. We sat across the table from one another, just playing cards. No conversation...nothing.

Tonight I made dinner. Beans and weiners. Yummy! And I peeled and slice potatoes to make fries. I ALWAYS use the front burner...But tonight that seemed to be a big problem. It was just to nit pick. She knows I am mad at her for breaking her promise, or not keeping her word...Whatever you want to call it.

So once again...Just like all the times before, she is going to make me out to be the bad guy. She will look to Wanda and Barb to talk behind my back. They think I don't fucking know what's going on. Well I guess I fooled them. I know and that pisses me off even more!

I took a nap tonight with Johnny. I was tired. I am tired now, but again I can't sleep.

Mom came in and woke John up, I got up too. When we came out of my room they were long gone to the bingo...The three of them, the little CLAN. Yes, that made me mad, I have my reasons which I won't discuss here.

It makes me mad. I know I am more than likely sounding like a big dumb baby...

Maybe I am a big, dumb, stupid baby. I don't really give two fucks at the moment.

I shouldn't let them get in my head. On top of the enormus things weighing me down, this petty shit isn't fucking helping.

On a happy note: We are moving to the City.

The end --

And to make a point...
My cats are litter trained! They do their job in a plastic box!

Another point: They pay $1250.00 per month rent here and let the dog shit and piss on the floor. Makes no damn sense to me.
Is it pick on Tina week or something and no one told me?