lc23tina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do they remeber? I was washing dishes today and a funny thought crossed my mind. I wonder if people remember me. I started thinking about Tyler. I was friends with him for about three years. We talked on the phone alot but rarely ever seen eachother. He was in university and I was in highschool. He had a motorcycle, but he was a geek. I mean GEEK to the extreme. Maybe thats why I never hung out with him much. The summer that we did hang out quite a bit was the summer I never seen him again. We took a ride down to the river on the motorcycle and we stayed down there for hours. We walked the whole park, just chatting away. He told me that he liked me a little more than a friend, and I told him honestly that I never thought of him any more than a friend to hang out with. We walked more and then took a seat on the concrete blocks they had at the edge of the river. Thats when he thought it was time to go in for the kill, like putting your arms around me and squeezing my boob was going to make me change my mind. I asked him in a not so poliet way what the fuck he was thinking and he said "I thought we were friends?" I said "Do you rub your other friends boobs?" He didn't answer me, just got up and laid down on a picnic table. I got up and walked home. Never heard from him again after that night. I often wonder if he just stayed by the river and became a troll. Then I got thinking about the other guys who were cool and not so cool that have drifted in and out of my life. I wonder about my friends from school, not just those people that you pass in the hall, but the ones who would come over to my place night after night to hang out. Once upon a time Becky, Sean, Shane and Me were the 4 musketeers. We did everything together. Everyone hung out at my place, because back then there was no adult to tell us what to do. Yeah my Mom was home, but she was the bigger kid out of the four of us. I was in my first car accident with Shane. I went to my first concert with Sean and Shane, we did everything. Glued to the hip. I remeber the night that we all flaked out on my bed, yup, the four of us spralled out on my bed. Those were the days. Beach parties and sneaking out of the window to go to beach parties and the bush parties...We would sit back and drink and laugh at the losers who were getting high and laughing. Becky and I snuk out a few times. The best one was when I was 17 and she was almost 16. Three in the morning on the Windsor chat line we decide to meet these two guys, ones name was Jay and the other Sean. We went down to the beach to meet them. We had a bombfire and went skinny dipping until a guy yelled from his house that he was going to call the cops because we were yelling. All we did was move down the beach and sat around singing and laughing. I remeber Jay smelling so good. He wore my sweater, I took it home and slept with it because damn he was fine! We met up with them a few times after that, but just to hang. Then there was Ross, he was such a cutie. We never offically dated, but you could say we did. We hung out for a year straight. But nothing was ever offical. I called him one night drunker than a skunk and told him that I really liked him. It was four in the morning, he got a little pissed and we stopped talking. One night Becky and I were downtown and he stopped and gave us a ride home. That's the night I spilled purple slushie in his car and the night Becky and Ross tore apart buzz lightyear and burried him in the Beer Store parking lot. I still get misty when we drive by. The last I heard, he was getting married to a girl named Amy. Before all this I had a boyfriend. Chuck was 25 and I was 15. Ouch. We dated for 2 years. What a waste of 2 years I'll say. The first man to ever hit me. I was over at his place with Jen and Mike who were dating at the time. He always tried to have sex and I didn't want to. Jen and Mike stated to get a little frisky on the couch in front of us and it turned him on. He tried to get frisky with me and I told him to go fuck himself. He smacked me right across the face in front of the two of them. Mike got up and threw him off the couch and drove me home. I kept in contact with Mike for the longest time, but then he got married to Jen and we didn't talk anymore. I just heard that he's doing time for molestation. When I in highschool I dated a guy named Shane, not the guy that hung out with me from school. We went to the winter semi-formal together. We dated about 6 or so months before that event. That night he started acting like an idiot. At the semi-formal just before it was time for us to get our pictures done, we were dancing. He looked at me and said in a very loud voice that Becky's big boobs were making him pop a boner. About 20 other people there that were dancing by us heard that. I left and never spoke to him again. He ruined my semi-formal and I never got a picture in that dress. Fuck. After that I was single for a little while before metting Lee. I met him when I was just about to turn 19. He was handsome, had a job, he was poliet, and he treated me like a queen. But he had a big fault. A girlfriend. I had dated him without knowing that he had another girlfriend for 8 months. We were sleeping together, we did everything like a couple...One night I was at home and my sister called me and asked me if I knew if Lee's grandfather died. I haden't talked to Lee all day, so I called him. He was a wreck. I offered to go to the funeral with him for support. That's when he said that he would be right over because he needed to tell me something. I met him outside and got into the truck, we went to the coffee shop and grabbed 2 coffee's, he didn't want to talk there. In the truck he grabbed my hand and said "Tina, I love you but...I have a girlfriend". I pulled my hand away and glazed over. I didn't say anything for a few minutes. I eventually said "I think I am going to open this door and jump out of the truck". I had no clue that he had a girlfriend, how could I be so stupid? He promised me that he was trying to break it off with her because he loved me. I believed him. I stayed with him for another few months until I found out that he never intended to leave her at all. That was it for me. It was done. About 2 years later he called me up and asked if he could come over to hang out, at the time I was already dating Brad for a year. Becky was over and she said we could all watch the hockey game together. He came over, Brad went to work just before the game was done, and Becky had to make her way home. This left Lee and I in my apartment. Alone. We talked and laughed and he came on to me. It didn't go anywhere. Down the road Becky and Lee hooked up, but not for long. I've only heard that he's got a kid now and is planning on getting married. To who? You guessed it Mary. The same girl he was seeing when I was with him and the same girl he was with when Becky was with him. Then came Brad. We met off a chat line. We went for coffee and a walk the night we met. We seemed to mess so well for the first little while. He stayed the very first night we met and never went home. We got engaged 6 months after meeting. Planned on getting married August 25th 2002. Things were so beyond repair after the first year, I often wonder what made me stay with him for another two and a half. We fought like cats and dogs. He was abusive mentally and phisically and yet everytime I believed that he loved me so I never did I thing about it. One night he came after me with a wooden bedpost leg and smacked me across the back, he punched my leg so hard that it broke veins, I still have the bruise. It never went away. The final straw was the day I was making his lunch in the kitchen and he said something smart, so I replied with something smart. He took the bread and smashed it into my face and then hauled off and smacked me. SHELLY was there and she can verify that's the day I fought back. I punched him and threw him down and I kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked. I yelled "DON'T YOU EVER LAY ANOTHER FINGER ON ME E-V-E-R--A-G-A-I-N" with every word that came out of my mouth I kicked harder. He took me down and smashed my face into the carpet, fucking up my mouth and my gums. I wrapped my legs around him and fought, I punched him in the mouth, I kicked him in the cock, I beat that ass up. I beat him good. You would think a girl would learn her lesson and leave that shit, but I didn't. The relationship was over before it was offically over. For the last year we slept in seperate bedrooms. The night he called from work and told me that he found someone on the internet and wanted to break up, I was relieved. I couldn't do it any longer either. He took my engagement ring from me and gave it to her. I don't think they ever seen eachother again. He fell in love with Julie and Twinkie. We lived as roomates for 7 months after we broke it off. Then I moved back with my Mom. Then came Jay and Jay. Jay number one was the guy I would go for coffee with and sit by the river, we kissed once and then I never heard from him again. Okay, I heard from him but he said he was going through depression and couldn't handle a realationship. Jay number two was a nice guy...He was funny and interesting, and we hung out quite a bit. I liked him, but honestly I don't think I wanted him as much as I thought I did. He wasn't for me at all. Besides I had thought he had a girlfriend anyway. Which turned out to be true. I forgot Dan. HAHA. How on earth could I forget the gay truck driving freak? My oh my. Before Shane, the loser from the semi-formal I dated Dan. He was all cute and stuff. He sent me 2 dozen long stem roses and a teddy bear to my school, it was sweet. We dated, not for long. It was more like we were friends then anything else. He had bad teeth and I was afraid to kiss him. I didn't put out so he moved on. To a man. Yup, he turned out to be gay. One night Melissa (old roomate) and I were on the chat line and these two guys were looking for bi-sexual females for some fun, you know they do it and you do it. As a joke we wanted to meet them, when they pulled up I screamed "OH MY GOD, YOUR GAY". That was the last time I seen him, and I thank God. You know all those luniticas from my past make me really appricate what I have in John. He dosen't abuse me, he dosen't have another girlfriend...He dosen't want to poke my best friend... I think I have it good. I just wonder if any of those guys think about me... 11:05 p.m. - 05.05.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||