lc23tina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *James* *This is for you JAMES* Ok...I havent written in my diary about you expect for the one older message where I was mad at the world because you did what you had to do at the time. You know we talk constantly and we have a bond between us, that goes back...way back. There was a point in time where there were a lot of stong feelings between us, but they were "undiscovered" let's say. I have told you flat out right from the start what was happening in my life all the bull from just breaking up with the man I was going to marry to the very personal stuff about my family and my "history" Ok my friends who are wondering about this message, there are a few of you that know what I am talking about and the rest of you are reading this nodding your head like you understand...but you dont. I am not getting into every detail yet, I do want to share that one day, but right now it would just kill me to have to re-write my past...So please understand that...and this message is meant for the world to see, but is really only meant for one person. I would say: Dear James, Thank you for being there to make me laugh, to make me cry and to make me love. You are a special person and I think I hold you up there with one of my best friends. I know things havent been right with us lately, with me holding a grudge and all...but I was very mad at you. I had put my trust into you and I felt like I was getting burnt by you, and I did in a way and I know that you have said sorry so many times...and that day I didnt want to hear sorry, I wanted to hear...anything but what you said. I know it may sound stupid to all of you reading this but this man...James...I was falling for him big time...I think somewhere deep inside this broke down heart of mine, I still love him. But right now...I only care for what what we both need from a friendship right now and we will get back to where we should be...wherever that may be. As long as we both remain friends, thats all I care about really. I need your ears to listen and your shoulder to cry on and I will return it all to you. ~So I raise my glass to you my best friend and toast to our friendship that will be here forever. Thank you James Love You -Tina- I hope I got it all out...I will write tomorrow, like I do everyday...Night. -t 3:48 a.m. - 2001-06-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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