lc23tina's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Little Bit Of Everything...Written By: FATTY* Yes it's back again, the little annoying pain over my right eye. It kinda feels like someone is hovering over me sticking me with a knife *poke, poke*. Last night after taking demarol, I developed this nervousness. I started thinking about ALIENS looking in the windows, and then there was a bang on the roof. It scared the crap out of me. I was almost certain that there was a pack of wild aliens dancing on the roof. I thought about going in the house and sleeping on the couch but decided against it when something under the bed made a noise, I think it was a spring or something in the matress, but my head was certain it was one of those wild aliens. So I stayed in my bed, listening to every little noise. Eventually I just fell asleep. Lesson: NO MORE DEMAROL! A member of my family today told me "You are never going to keep a boyfriend if you keep getting fat". Oh yeah, that's fucking great for the self esteem. So tonight at dinner I ate a very small amount. Now I am a little freaked. I've never thought I was "FAT", yeah I know I have some meat that could be gone, but I've never greaked about it. I like who I am, and evidently there are people out there who like me the way I am too. It's not like the person who made this comment is "skinny". When people make comments, no matter what they are, they have an affect on you. Most of the time I don't let it bother me, but this time it seems to be bothering me. I guess it's the way it was said. Almost like every problem I've ever had revolved around being fat, nothing else matters, I was fat. That's the reason for everything. *sigh* I slept for 14 hours today. This could explain why I am up right now, although I am still feeling tired, or just lazy...I dunno. Things with John and I seem to be settling. We've been awfully edgy with one another. We sat down and talked about things. But something makes me wonder if we said everything we wanted to. Maybe it's just me, and stress from living with this tumor. Could be because I'm FAT. Someone is stealing my smokes. Two nights in a row. I'm not liking this at all. Tonight I am hiding them in my underwear drawer, if they come up missing I am going to be one pissed off chick. Going to call Johnny and then it's off to bed for me. Night. -Tina- 12:40 a.m. - 2002-01-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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